two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
