Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
