Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
