She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
