just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
there is glitter all over my balls
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