ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
