We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
