I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
