I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize