So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
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She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
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SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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