i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
do nipples grow back?
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