Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
