so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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