I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
