let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
its not stalking. its research.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize