Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
