I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
