You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
