Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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