I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
