better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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