He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
