So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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