Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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