Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
