if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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