See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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