What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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