I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
