Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
