you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
