We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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