The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
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So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
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I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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