i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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