Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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