my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
