Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
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I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
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You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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