Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
