Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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