He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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