I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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