Don't make out with my wife yet
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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