Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize