Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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