You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
