I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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