I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
