this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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