dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize