so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
