It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
