i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
