can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize