yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
