I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
