I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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