no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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