My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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