I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
