I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
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She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize