I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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