It's just like the Real World with babies
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
